I have a brother.
Full stop.
[Originally published on September 8, 2020]
My name is Sydney and for most of my life I was the oldest, but when I was 10 years old I became the middle child, suddenly part of a blended family. Something most people don’t know about me is that I have a brother. He isn’t a secret and when people ask if I have siblings I say I have a sister and a brother. I also don’t like explaining our relationship because I feel like other people invalidate the relationship when they hear that no he’s not my biological brother and no he isn’t adopted, but this isn’t the kind of thing where you call your oldest friends your cousins. Kadeem is my brother, full stop.
Kadeem was a student of my father’s when he was in 8th grade and I was in 6th grade. He had been having some behavioral issues and my dad was there to support him and students like him. Sometimes the right people enter your life at the perfect time and everything falls together. Sure, my dad was there at a pivotal time in his life, but he came into our lives and changed it for the better.
My dad is everyone’s favorite teacher, even if he has to be a hardass with you. My dad truly wants the best for all his students and will go above and beyond to help them succeed. Everyone asks me how it was having my dad as a teacher at my middle school, but the truth is that when your dad is Mr. Weinshel it’s kind of great. I’ve never heard a harsh word uttered against my dad because even if he has to be tough, he’s fair and truly wants the best for all of us.
Early on in my dad’s class with Kadeem, he asked my brother and his friend to separate since they were talking over the lesson and were being distracting. Kadeem, being the troublemaker he was, got up from his seat huffing and puffing and moved across the class to the new seat. My dad being well my dad looked at Kadeem and said, “Dude, that was embarrassing. If you’re going to make a scene, make a scene.” And my dad picked up the chair Kadeem had been sitting in and slammed it against the cinderblock wall. It instantly broke the tension and Kadeem tried to hide a smile.
Our first time hanging out with him outside of school was on a family trip to Washington DC. My sister and I had grown up going into the city and visiting all the museums, but Kadeem hadn’t. So we asked permission from his mom and he came into DC with us. That was that. There was no turning back. He was family from that moment on and everything changed.
Over the years Kadeem would spend most afternoons at our house, if he needed a place to crash he would come to our house. Soon his friends would start coming over and we would all hang out. He was my cool older brother. My sister and I were the pesky little sisters. The incriminating videos I have of him singing along to Carrie Underwood or the Gilmore Girls theme song.
Kadeem’s mom became part of our family too. She’s a loving, sometimes crazy, and deeply caring person. She came to both my sister’s and my own High School graduation and calls us her daughters. She’s a little rough around the edges and when she threatens one of our boyfriends not to hurt us, she means business.
When I was in college, Kadeem had a beautiful baby boy named Chance. He’s almost 5 now and the most brilliant child. I’ve seen Kadeem grow up to be the best father and brother and son. I’ve now known my brother for 16 years and we’ve watched each other go through some hard times, but we’ve found ourselves grown up. When I was 10 years old I had no idea that I’d get a whole new addition to my family, one that would give me a nephew when I was 20. Life is funny and so are families. Everyone is born into a family, but if you’re lucky like I’ve been, you’ll meet people who become your chosen family.
